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Lessons in being a decent Human: Lesson 1 – Being a friend

December 1, 2012

Ok so as usual, i’m starting one of my multi-part posts so lets get things going.  Let me lay out a couple of scenarios that have recently sparked my anger on this topic.  Lets start with a good friend of mine, Armond.  I met Armond almost two years ago when i started at dollar general, we were instant friends.  He came to the house, played video games, stayed up super late, all that stuff.  So imagine my sadness when he just up and leaves, moves to florida (12 hour drive i think).  So we promised to keep in touch, he said i was one of the best friends he has and had ever had.  Well time passes, facebook each other a little bit, text some, well the conversations would go just normal convo as if we were hanging out.  Text responses were so fast sometimes it blew my mind anyone could text that fast.  So then I say “Care if I call when I get off work?” Nothing, hour later, nothing, the rest of the day, nothing.  So I just think “Screw it, i’ll call” he doesn’t answer.  Text him asking him why he didn’t answer, nothing.  So that pissed me off, anyway, just moved on, he later claimed he quit talking because he was playing basketball, how do you text that fast and play basketball at the same time?  Anyway, fast forward to Nov. 28th, Armond is in town again! Promised to come see me and michelle, even stay the night like old times.  For as long as he has been in town, he has ignored my every message to see when he is coming over.  He will respond to stuff like “Glad you made it ok!” and stuff, but as soon as the subject breaches when are you coming over, nothing.

Now i’m not bashing Armond, he is an awesome awesome guy, but this just isn’t right.  If you don’t want to see me while you’re down, or if you just don’t want to talk to me.  At least respond in some fashion, don’t just ignore me.

(Example 1) Hey man, I don’t know when i’ll be able to swing by, I have so much going on while i’m down here, but i’ll certainly try!
(Example 2)Hey man, sorry I can’t really talk right now.

These are common responses to such questions that I have asked.  Now will these responses make me mad, a little bit, but no where near as mad as if you just ignore my every word.  This all just seems like common courtesy to me, but I guess not…lets move on.

So this next guy i’ve been friends with much much longer, Kyle.  He is a really nice dude, awesome guy, and at points has leaned on me for support and come to me looking for guidance.  He always says how good a friend I am.  Kyle repeatedly does the above things that Armond has done, i’ll tell one story.

Me and Michelle had made a habit out of going to the college station every thursday to hang out with him and his GF Kirstie.  Kirstie is awesome, she is funny and cool, and seems to honestly want to hang out with us, i could be wrong but thats just my thinking.  So we keep asking them when we could all hang out outside of this little shin-dig.  Kyle says:
“Well, lets see what you have to work on Saturday, me and Kirstie are off and we can all get together then!”  Sounds great!  I find out that I open, and get off at 3 we can hang out sometime after that “COOL!” he responds.  Saturday rolls around, I text him around 3 ish asking “What time is good for you guys to hang out?” not a word, this proceeds through the rest of the freakin day, i texted him so much.  He ignores me the whole time and then on Facebook post

“What do people do on Saturdays around here? LOL” I wanted so bad to just fucking let loose and go crazy, but I don’t do Facebook shit.  Anyway…

Moral of the Lesson:

Be a good friend, don’t just show up when you want, don’t make claims that you can’t back up.  If you’re friends with someone and even admit to them how good of friends you are, stand by your words.  It shows poor character and just overall crappiness of you as a friend.  If you don’t want to see someone, or don’t want to hang out, just tell them.  Even if you lie, just know that you have responded and had a reason as to why things couldn’t work out or couldn’t happen.  I’m not saying that you should lie, honesty is always my policy, even if its brutal and sometimes hurtful.  Tell the truth, if you’re really friends, they will understand, even if it is a lie and they know it, they will get the message.  This at least makes you seem like a better person and a better friend in the end.

This has been Lesson 1 in Being a decent Human.  Stay tuned for more lessons down the line, and as always, thanks for reading!


From → Life

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