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Dark places and you…or me rather…

February 18, 2013

Ya know sometimes life gets really hard.  Sometimes what you think is a challenge may be nothing at all to someone else and vice versa.  But its how we act and respond when life gets hard.  Thats what defines us as people, human.  So I just finished a movie on Netflix called “Sleepwalk With me” its a movie made based off the true story of the comedian Mike Birbiglia.  The movie is really good but makes you think about things in your life and how you’ve come to where you are.

Allow me to get dramatic for a bit.  Life throws fast balls at you all the time. They come at blazing speeds and all be have to respond is our knee jerk reaction.  I’ll be married for 6 years on June 30th this year and time has just flown by.  But the punches have only gotten harder, and the decisions and fears have only gotten harder/worse as well.  Still trying to move forward through all this bullshit including the fact that i’m sick again.

I have been having this horrible dream for several nights in a row.  My wife leaves me, but we don’t divorce or anything like that but she leaves me to go stay and take care of her mom for a few months.  I’m never sure how it ends but what I am sure of is that I probably don’t make it those months without her.  Its a dream that when it happens i’m always awakened from it terrified.  So of course she tells me closer to the beginning of this month her mom is finally losing her house and going to live with her Grandma, this is back to reality by the way, and that she has to be out by April.

For some reason my brain flipped a panic switch and this is how my nightmare begins. Anyway, i’m still struggling with it as an actual fear.  But instead of facing it up front I just continue to push through my life, as meaningless or mediocre as it seems.  For example I checked my facebook just now and a new episode of “Continue Cast” is up and i get happy and open it up and now i’m just going to shut down for a while and enjoy this podcast.

Life is so stupid…


From → Drama, Family, Life

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